EnidSong

By Enid Ning

I shot my hand in the air again impatiently. Earl Pitts was making the most amazing claims in his lecture to us on “The Kingdom of God.” I simply had to pin him down on some of this stuff!

But, as before, he did not seem to notice my hand. He continued teaching, and after awhile, frustrated, I put my hand down.

I was attending Youth With A Mission’s (YWAM’s) Discipleship Training School (DTS) in Cambridge, Ontario in the first quarter of 1992. I had gone there out of a deep desire to become a missionary and to see the power of God at work.

Having been brought up in the Presbyterian church, I had learned much of logic and rationality, and could defend my faith admirably, but I had yet to see the power of God. YWAM appealed to me because of its multi-denominational yet charismatic stance. Yet once I was there, all my Presbyterian upbringing seemed to rush to the fore, and all I wanted to do was argue. I wanted everything to be proven to me from the Scriptures. This seemed to me a logical and understandable attitude. So why wasn’t I getting anywhere?

Earl Pitts would be teaching us all this week. Yet every time I raised my hand to challenge something he had said or to insist that he prove his assertions from Scripture, he never called on me. It was as if my hand was not there. Was it personal? I just didn’t understand it.

About midweek, Earl was teaching us about “Mind, Body and Spirit.”

“We are like a hand,” said Earl, holding out his own hand, fingers open and thumb up. “The thumb is the Spirit; the forefinger is the mind; the middle finger is the will; the ring finger is the emotions; and the little finger is the body. Each part must be in balance with the other, and the Spirit must lead. Some people let their body lead, others, their emotions, and still others, their will or their mind. Yet unless you let the Spirit lead, you will never find God. The Spirit is the only part that points up to God.”

That’s it! I thought to myself. That’s what I need. I need to submit my mind to the Spirit. I need to let the Holy Spirit lead instead of trying to rule over the Spirit with my mind.

That evening I spent some time in prayer, determined to put my mind in its proper place. I would not forget about my mind altogether, but I had come to the point of realizing that not every truth of God can be understood solely with the mind.

The next day, Earl was teaching again, only somehow it was different. I was different. I felt excited about the truths he was teaching us. I wasn’t standing back and logically analyzing everything he said from the outside. Instead, I was deeply involved, drinking it all in. The Spirit inside me was excited and joyful, and my mind acquiesced to its new position.

At one point during the teaching, Earl was trying to remember something I understood. I shot up my hand. Immediately, Earl called on me. I was amazed. All week long he hadn’t even noticed my hand, but now that I had this new internal balance, he called on me right away.

What may seem like a small decision has opened up a whole new world to me. Instead of learning about God, I am now immersed in Him. Instead of doing what I hope is right, I can move in the rhythm and flow of what He is doing. The Holy Spirit is a wonderful blessing to me. His sovereignty in my life makes the difference between knowing God from afar and experiencing Him for myself.